Freakouts and Awesome People

I had a major freakout last night. Basically, I was feeling like shit all morning, so I decided to go home right before noon to sleep it off and hopefully wake up refreshed and well rested and not sweaty, sore, headachy, and nauseous. I got home, slept for about 6 hours, and then got in huge fight with Boy, ate dumplings, cried with the pug, and then slept for another 8 hours. Pretty much I've been feeling pretty low lately, and my moods have been swinging a lot. This happens every year or two, so I don't know if it's just a relapse of my depression, if it's seasonal, hormonal, or if I genuinely have something to freakout about.

I tried to see my family doctor a few weeks ago, but she has three kids under 10 and has crazy hours, so I saw the first doctor that was available rather than waiting months (months!) for an appointment. We talked about it, I thought it might be a bad reaction to the birth control pill and was thinking about switching to an IUD. We decided to try improving my diet and taking a multivitamin for a few months, before re-assessing, at which point we'd decide if going off the pill or starting another medication would be the best course of action. Of course since I've seen the doctor, my eating habits have yo-yo-ed, one week I'm super good about cutting down sugar and refined carbs, the next I'm bingeing on pizza and wine. I'm pretty sure a really crappy food weekend contributed at least partly to the meltdown last night.

I just ate deep fried dumplings with rice, brocolie and korean potatoes, and I feel like shit. (I'm weak and i forgot to pack a lunch) I really do think that changing my eating habits will make me feel better but that also bums me out. It's proven that when you feel depressed your body craves high sugar, high fat, carby foods, but that's pretty much the exact opposite of what you should be eating, so I'm going to be fighting myself the entire way... great! I'm also trying to keep track of my moods, journaling a wee bit if you will to see if I can identify any triggers (other than being really irritable when I'm tired and/or hungry, and when I'm the presence of two or more piles)

So here's where I ask you a favour. If I'm being irrationally irritable, or difficult, or generally not my usual self, please let me know. Also, please be nice about it, there's no need for "MANDY U CRAZY!!" and other such antics.

Now for something completely different...

I have a new favourite tumblr feed: Awesome People Hanging Out

Nancy Reagan and Mr. T

Jack Mcbrayer, Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig, Jon Bon Jovi, Conan O’Brien

Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstien